October 2013

* true lies

"The frontier between hell and heaven is only the difference between two ways of looking at things."
(George Bernard Shaw)


Every society confronts the problem of civilizing its young males. The traditional approach is through character education: Develop the young man's sense of honor. Help him become a considerate, conscientious human being. Turn him into a gentleman. This approach respects boys' masculine nature; it is time-tested, and it works. Even today, despite several decades of moral confusion, most young men understand the term "gentleman"and approve of the ideals it connotes.

What Carol Gilligan and her followers are proposing is quite different: civilize boys by diminishing their masculinity. "Raise boys like we raise girls" is Gloria Steinem's advice. This approach is deeply disrespectful of boys. It is meddlesome, abusive, and quite beyond what educators in a free society are mandated to do.

Did anything of value come out of the manufactured crisis of diminished girls? Yes, a bit. Parents, teachers, and administrators now pay more attention to girls' deficits in math and science, and they offer more support for girls' participation in sports. But who is to say that these benefits outweigh the disservice done by promulgating the myth of the incredible shrinking girl or presenting boys as the unfairly favored sex?

A boy today, through no fault of his own, finds himself implicated in the social crime of shortchanging girls. Yet the allegedly silenced and neglected girl sitting next to him is likely to be the superior student. She is probably more articulate, more mature, more engaged, and more well-balanced. The boy may be aware that she is more likely to go on to college. He may believe that teachers prefer to be around girls and pay more attention to them. At the same time, he is uncomfortably aware that he is considered to be a member of the favored and dominant gender.

The widening gender gap in academic achievement is real. It threatens the future of millions of American boys. Boys do not need to be rescued from their masculinity. But they are not getting the help they need. In the climate of disapproval in which boys now exist, programs designed to aid them have a very low priority. This must change. We should repudiate the partisanship that currently clouds the issues surrounding sex differences in the schools. We should call for balance, objective information, fair treatment, and a concerted national effort to get boys back on track. That means we can no longer allow the partisans of girls to write the rules.

(The War Against Boys, CHRISTINA HOFF)



It's true that women see the world as just theirs. The whole world is just for their pleasure. It's for nobody elses pleasure. And of course, they see men, as for being their pleasure as well. Men are just tools. Slaves. Makers of a war-fort, or more products, or more land to farm. So men are accepting all this - policemen, firemen, soldiers, all of these incredibly nasty jobs, the dirtiest - the most dangerous jobs there are, belong to men. There's a problem with this. If men are doing these jobs, there must be a pay off. I mean, men can't be that dumb.

Really, what we're talking about is ego, attachment, and the emotions - what drives all people. Men seem to be unaware. They are slaves to society. But what is it that blinds them to it? And I would say it is their emotional attachment to woman. Not any particular woman, because woman is many things. She is his status, so the status he has in his private life comes from her, not directly from an individual woman, but just from the general society, his ideas about life - so his attachment to seeing himself as special, as being in the group as well. He's quite willing to see himself as an individual, but he doesn't necessarily want be an individual, but to be a part of the herd, and operate in a group format, because that's where he gets his status.

A man's sense of worth is tied up in that abstraction of woman. And it's hard for him to gain a sense of worth purely from his sense of his own individual nature, and that's what keeps men going back to women, despite their experiences with individual women. It can happen a million times, but it's very hard for a man to get beyond the ideations of his own mind, because he has to deny an important part of who he is in his own reality.

The role that men have historically played in society has been diminished. And the loss of frontiers for men is a very important issue as well.

(the World of Woman)


"The ghosts gossip among each other."

"Love, thieves, and fear, make ghosts."

"You lament not the dead, but lament the trouble of making a grave; the way of the ghost is longer than the grave."

"No one is more afraid of ghosts than those that don't believe in them."

"Ghosts could walk freely tonight, without fear of the disbelief of men; for this night was haunted, and it would be an insensitive man who did not know it."
(John Steinbeck)

"It is not only what we have inherited from our fathers and mothers that exists again in us, but all sorts of old dead ideas and all kinds of old dead beliefs and things of that kind. They are not actually alive in us; but there they are dormant, all the same, and we can never be rid of them. Whenever I take up a newspaper and read it, I fancy I see ghosts creeping between the lines. There must be ghosts all over the world. They must be as countless as the grains of the sands, it seems to me. And we are so miserably afraid of the light, all of us."

"What you do, what you say and what you think can influence other people by morphic resonance. So we're more responsible for our actions, words and thoughts on this principle than we would otherwise be. There is no immoral filter in morphic resonance, which means that we have to be more careful about what we are thinking if we are concerned about the affect we have on others."
(Rupert Sheldrake)