~ Brave Journals for the year 2012 ~

July. 2nd 2011

They say a person is as big as the thing that made him or her angry. That makes sense to me. And this is why I tell young children that God is going to give them amazing presents, but when they wake up the next morning to no presents, I later tell them that God changed his mind, and when they get angry, then that's good, because they end up being as big as God.

July 11th 2010

I realized the other day that it takes a mature person to not get upset over spilt milk.

So to test a person's maturity, I find out if they have a piece of technology that I wish I could afford.

And then I purposely spill my milk on it.

When they get upset, I then say:

Oh, come on - don't cry over spilt milk!

July. 13th 2010

I'm sorry to have to say this, but people really are not very bright,

For instance, I sometimes hear these "conventional people" say cliches like:

"Don't judge a book by its cover."

Well then don't put a cover on your book, Einstein!

July. 18th 2010

I agree with the proverb "Don't put all your eggs in one basket"

this is proof that God made women as unwise beings.

Because they keep their ovaries only in their vagina.

July. 23th 2011

When shooting an acquaintance with a slingshot, face up to the facts, it is going to sting them a little.

That's why I think it's very important to use acorns, because if they get really mad at you,

then you can console them by saying:

"it's from little acorns that mighty oaks do grow."

July. 25th 2011

Being witty with your children is important, as it helps them develop and appreciate humor.

For instance, as a father, I would quiz my children with trivia questions

and if they got the answer right, I would reward them by letting them smoke cigars.

But when they got the answer wrong, then I would bring out the wit, saying:

"Close, but no cigar"